Spiritual Relationship Takes Us to New Levels

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Spiritual Relationship Takes Us To Deeper Levels

"He who bind himself to joy
Does the winged life destroy
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity's sunrise."
-William Blake, Eternity

Spiritual relationship is a very important aspect to healthy relationships. Spirituality in relationships can take many different forms. You and your spouse do not have to follow the same traditions. Common elements of something that exists beyond what the eye can see or the divine or prayer can enrich your relationship deeply. Spirituality brings meaning to our lives. Shared meaning is very helpful to your marriage or relationship. If you can create rituals together, attend services or teachings, pray and meditate together, you create connection to something beyond the small world of two. With spiritual relationships, you take your private love to the greater world and share it with others. You can connect with all beings in this way. If you have children, spirituality and ritual also become meaningful and fun for them.

Spiritual practice and connection is important for the growth of a relationship because it can give you a common language that inspires you to go beyond your personal ego tendencies. These are the tendencies of defensiveness, selfishness and being right that all relationships come up against. When a relationship has a commitment to a spiritual path, there can be a richness and maturity that develops as each person listens to their inner wisdom and intuition. When each partner in a relationship has a spiritual path, there is a trust that our spouse is going to work on his/ her issues, a trust in their own conscience and self-reflection. We also begin to understand the difference between love and attachment, which frees us from the constricting cocoon that relationships can often wind.

Unfortunately, we can also hide behind our spiritual paths. The ego can wrap itself around being "spiritual", so as to bring about arrogance and condescension between spouses. Or people may use their spiritual practices to escape from the relationship, just as any other activity or substance can be used. Differences in religion and spirituality between spouses can also create rifts and spiritual materialism in your marriage, just like ancient holy wars.

Although some religious traditions shun sexuality as profane, sexual intimacy can go to new levels in a spiritual relationship. Especially in eastern traditions, there are ancient spiritual and religious practices that have been used to deepen spirituality and sexuality as avenues to the ultimate union of male and female, heaven and earth, human and divine. See tantra for more information.

When building a spiritual relationship, take time to explore books, teachings, and seminars together. Share new ideas and have discussions. There is also a very practical aspect to spiritual life, learning to integrate ourselves and be more fully in the present moment together.

Being in the moment is when loving actually occurs. We cannot really BE together if we are constantly distracted and busying ourselves. To be present with your partner is to engage in life's experience in an intimate way. Being present is a spiritual practice because we need to learn to quiet the constant chatter of the mind to come fully to the moment and our beloved. Meditation is a wonderful tool for quieting the mental chatter and settling ourselves down.

Guru Rinpoche at Tso Pema

"There is no struggle to be free.
The absence of struggle is, in itself, freedom."
-Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

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